Hi Pajo, welcome aboard. I hope you will post every day. Be sure to read the links in Cadet's post.
Well, I certainly understand a MR going through "seasons". I hope this season does not become a crisis. To be honest, the way she's protecting her phone raises some flags.
To get a better picture, I have several questions. Are you a SAHD?
Approximately, how much alone time do you and your W normally have together during a week's time?
Does she seem to be resentful, disgusted or turned off toward you? Is it easy for you to set her off? Do you feel she speaks somewhat disrespectful to you, or does she seem a little superior b/c of her job position? Out of the two of you, who would you say is more charge (or has the final word) of the home, family, finances, and MR?
Whenever a spouse begins to protect their messages, it is an alarm. Flirty messages may not seem inappropriate to you, or you may be trying to excuse them. Personally, I do think it is inappropriate for co-workers to send those type of messages. We have seen this too many times here on the board. In fact, I think it is a sign she's walking on dangerous grounds. They may excuse it by saying it's all in fun, but it is still inappropriate and if that's the reason she's hiding her phone, then I dare say there is more to it. So, beware.
The more she wants to have privacy, the greater the concern should be that she is either looking, or already has her eyes on someone else. It doesn't mean it has progressed to an A, but it could be leading to an EA. Does she spend the night away from home very often? Does she work a long distance from home?
Last question for now, how is the sex life?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
