Sandi's Reflections

[ATPeace]

Sandi so much of what you write just screams,out at me as yes this is her ...

My W is a ww and,she has lost total respect for me you know from my threads that in her mind any issues in the marrage has been turned into meet absive my w never apologised to me it was always me apologising first.... come to think of it I do not remember a time when she ever said sorry to me for anything.

You said in your post When I think of a woman, who has no ill intent in her heart, leaving her M behind and waking away broken hearted and defeated.........I picture a woman who is in pain and/or sees no hope in things ever getting better.

This is her.

When you said But don't confuse this with a woman who has sorrowfully given up on her H ever contributing to the MR and walks away b/c she has lost all hope. She would not be "playing" him b/c she is done with him. Her H would probably have to make some life long changes before she would be convinced they were legit. If all her attraction for him had faded, he may have to work hard and long to get that back again. However, it is what is in her heart that led her to leave him that determines if she was wayward or if she is a hurting WAW.

I can see this in her

You also said I don't think most WW tell the H the true issue at hand. She will either complain about something from years earlier, or give anything the she thinks sound good enough to be a justifiable excuse to break up the M. By the time she is a WW, you could kill yourself trying to "show" her how much you care.........but it's not really the issue. The issue is her lack of respect and admiration for you as a man. That's the direction to work from and where to put your focus. Women don't respect & admire a man that does all the house cleaning, laundry, cooling, child care, etc. That is why M's fall into trouble when the man is a SAHD and the W has a career. She loses respect and admiration for him.

How do I rebuild the respect and admiration that she once had ? If I stand up to her it just rattles her even more

And finally you talk about her taking the balls and becoming the man in the marrage and THIS is what has happend in our marrage

Now she wants nothing to do has closed down on working in the marrage and has made her mind up that the marrage is over she is stubben always has been she has turned the whole marrage into doom and gloom

Sandi my W disowned her father because he was not a good enough dad he ignored the fact that the stepmum was abusing my W and she has nothing to do with him has not been in contact in over 20 years or more she also disowned her mother because she and her fathers marrage broke down her mum was cheering on her father so she has nothing to do with her for the sae length of time ....she also stopped all contact with two of her sisters many many years ago...and when my brothers law tried to talk to her she blocked him and my sister from her life ....so why am I surprised that she is now cutting me out of her life.

My daughter has seen this and she is also cutting me out of her life and she has done the same to my sister and my sisters daughter and her husband.

I like so many wanted to find a way to save our marrage turn it arround and build a new better relationship I do not want to accept that this is not going to be Posable and this makes it impossible for me to move forwards.

Internet hugs and respect to you

Ghost