Nygal: pretty much how I feel..even though I know hes bad for me, and I deserve more, I can't let go. I feel like there is something wrong for me.
My therapist said I am in a serious state of denial and need to accept my marriage is over or I'll never move on. She just keeps telling me he is never coming back and I'm trying to accept it but I can't seem to.
Painter: Not as bad..50-60% came the month or two before we separated until now. Before he was always loving and sweet and now I'm like who the f are YOU. It was like before it was level 3-5 on most things and now it is level 7-10 on the pyscho controlling manipulative emotionally abusive train.
Tim: I know we are getting divorced..he tells me all the time, he has OW he has wanted since he was 15 apparently, he keeps telling me he has never loved me.
Like I know it is over..and he is being awful and showing his true colors but I am having letting go issues.
My good friend told me her dad was worried about me and my kids and wants us to pack emergency overnight bag for their guest room. They said they have seen my Hs temper and have known him the last 7 years and worry about if I start doing boundaries and being angry or mean he is going to snap on me.
He pretty much says the same thing V did in my last thread.
I had my sister tell me all I do is defend him,even now with him leaving me.
Example: he made it hard for me have girlfriends
He could go out until 2-3 am and leave at 4-6pm
I would have to leave at 9pm after kids were asleep and home by 11ish
My excuse: well its easier for me to put the kids to bed..and he is the one who works all the time and I know that he needs to be able to sleep since he works late until almost midnight..so I have to go home early so I can be up with the baby..etc etc
In my eyes I never saw it as controlling. Even now that I see it as controlling, I still am like well it makes sense why I would need to come home type thing.
It is like my brain in logical and my heart is like pshhhk no shut up and listen to me.
