When I detached last time, it was because husband told me he did not want to work on reconciliation, then he told me he thought we should try and that he only said that because I was pushing him and that he could be emotional as well just like i am and change his mind.
I guess I don't know how to feel anymore.
One part of me really sympathized with him when he was expressing his crisis. I know he feels like a failure financially (he shouldn't and I told him I never cared about his ability to provide) and in some other areas as well. I know he was very anxious about his health (some serious issues). I know more then he does about some pretty bad family dynamics on his side. When he communicated with me the other day, I just wanted to help him. I see that he is asking for space and will do it more because he needs it then true detachment at this point.
Another part of me fears that he is blaming it all on me and I need to act in my own best interests because he will leave me and kids in a bad way. That he is making strategic moves. I feel rejected and vilified by him (like we all do). When I feel this way, I will be honest but I am not sure how to detach. Or I feel like the only way I will ever be able to truly detach is by having a love interest. (I know how crazy that sounds and would not act on it but for some reason I feel like I don't know how else to detach other then that)
