Not sure where to stand

[Sparkls]

Like, this is an excerpt from one of the letters: Nothing satisfies me here, I am plagued with the thought of you by yourself, feeling the same way I feel now. I would gladly make any man in this jail bleed if it meant kissing you and telling you how much I love you. It still baffles me how this happened, why this happened but the rest of this nightmare is all downhill. I’m so close I can taste it, and they can never take that away. Before the year is through, we will be together again and we’ll never be part like this. Ever. I’m writing this to say that I love you and I miss you dearly. Be strong honey, this will be over soon. Last night I dreamed that it was New Year’s Eve and you and I had spent a stupid amount of money on a wonderful bottle of champagne to ring in the apocalyptic new year. :-p But it was us, together, and it was all the more glorious since I knew it would be true.
<3 always,

I don't know how to let that go. It's not in my tool box.

And to answer your question Broke, I won't be sending these to him. I spent like 3 days before finding out about the affair and 1.5 days after doing the wrong thing. Since then, I've done the DBing stuff to the best of my ability. Haven't spoken to him in over a week. It's pouring rain, otherwise I'd take my puppies for an extra long walk. GAL isn't going to happen cause it's already late and my friends and I all have to be up early tomorrow. Really, I just want to shut down. Disconnect from the outside world unless absolutely necessary, and wake up 3 months from now when I can just move on. I have fleeting moments of terrible ideas but I know better than to act on them (things like sending these letters to the OW and telling her to please, please be a better person and let me try and work things out with my boyfriend.) I don't understand how people do this to other people. Makes me not want to bring children into a world where people act like this to each other.