Thank you broke, It has been an awful situation and i think i have become a bit immune to the shock horror of it all - i have become accepeting, perhaps too accepting of very bizarre behaviour. Thinking i was doing wonderful empowering 180's that I am now questioning as enabling the bizarness.
There are some bright spots too though.
Somehow the boys and i are managing and day by day live a great life. It is these (new) drive by visits that have thrown me.
Some how i have found us a new wee home, we live simply but well - stress free (other than you know what), true, authentic, low budget lives which are generally satisfying. I found a full time job that i manage to do pretty much part time and which provides a car that i squash the boys bikes and wakeboards etc into. The boys and I go out, we holiday with friends and family, we have fun.
We are better than ok, but I think and want to do this better still. This is not a temporary phase, this is life as i know it for the forseable future.
It is very good to type these things and see them in black and white - the things that i now take for granted but which I am very proud of having achieved.
I have become empowered at setting boundaries with other people through this time, and that has been a big help in feeling like i am becoming the best me i can be. I think i can be better at setting helpful nonvindictive (i may have passive aggresive tendencies where XH is concerned) boundaries with XH.
Funny, it is only here i refer to XH as XH. OW is engaged to my H - how could that feel like a good thing?!
