I am so sorry you and your kids are sick. I am sure that is not helping the situation.
I do not think you have to give up hope to detach. I have been detaching for the past 3-4 weeks and I still have hope. In fact, I am working towards not having hope because I think that the WAS knows when you still have hope. Also, it will only help me in the long run not to have hope in case there truly isn't an opportunity for reconciliation. There are lots of us on this board that have hope and are detaching.
It sounds like your H is under a lot of stress and you detaching will actually be an act of kindness for him right now. When I was begging, pursuing, pleading and forcing my H into conversations he didn't want to have he withdrew, filed for D, bought a house and told our sons that the D was proceeding. So, while detaching may be hard to do, what I did before made it so much worse. Learn from my mistakes - I think if I would've followed the db'ing from the beginning my M may have a better shot.
Start thinking about goals and 180's for yourself. Make plans to GAL. I hope you and your kids feel better soon.
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
