Yes, it is true. Detachment will work. I almost feel like I need to be a sociopath to truly detach though. Would I even be on these boards if I was detached? Inthink I might be able to this time around. I notice my moods and hormones play a big role as well.
Right now son has strep and I am still sick. I just went on antibiotic but I feel so tired and lethargic and unable to process. Happiness is really hard right now and I think its more because I'm under the weather. This virus has been making it hard for me to look at things positively and because kids are taking turns being sick I am not really getting any sleep.
I did call husband and asked him about physical intimacy since we are technically separated. He said we are still married and he has not been physically intimate with anyone. He said he wouldn't be able to if he even wanted and he doesn't want that type of involvement. He said he wants no extra stress in his life. He was actually very calm and kind with this discussion. Admittedly this topic is something I Have always been obsessed with. He said right now he just needs to get his life straightened out. He needs time. He cannot handle more then one thing at a time.
I know husband has ocd. I am not diagnosing this. he gets obsessed with work and they take advantage. This has been an ongoing issue. I am wondering if the ocd is a part of this. He has been saying he needs to find new job for years. He says this now as well. He looked like he was going to cry when he told me how miserable his job is. This caused lots of friction at home. When I used to ask about affair he would joke that his only mistress is his 70 year old male boss.
It is very painful to me that he had an easier time leaving me and kids then his job... This says a lot.
I also know that I could be blaming his job as a way to deny my role. Even now maybe I am in denial. It is all our marriage. I am thinking that He just does not have enough mental strength or perhaps band width to go through a divorce right now, but will do so. That is his plan. In mean time he is trying to get me to work full time. His niceness is just niceness and nothing more? I want direct answers and he won't give them to me. Is it strategic for him?
He told me he consulted with attorney and it was sobering.
Yes I know the only option I have is to detach. To do so I have to give up hope though. To detach I kind of have to make myself hate him though.
I am confused and I want answers. This is hard to accept.
