Poor work is not getting my full attention today - but i think this is an important break through for me...
ExH has been completely distant from the boys and I since driving off 2 plus years ago. Recently he has been making contact with the boys more - which i know is important, but I have struggled with the way it has been done. I have seen the boys confusion and hurt when as their increased contact with their Dad is awakening them more to his actions.
In particular i have struggled with the ultimatums of, 'if you want to spend time with me (doing cool things), then you need to spend time with Ow'. I know the boys want to do the cool things - so choose to spend time in this setting which I find uncomfortable. It is not about me though is it. I get it now, this is just part of the process. I have read it so many times - but somehow took this step personally after so long of detaching. Detachment was much easier with ExH more distant himself.
I still dont like it, but know i dont need to like it. The boys know how to set boundaries, but ultimately it is there choice to spend time with their dad/Ow, or not; do cool things with their Dad/Ow or not. Ive got to let MY issues with that go. Boo I dont like it, but now I get it.
The more they see of each other the clearer the current truth will be . This i do like the thought of and will reassure myself with.
