Staying the Course Pt. II

[Vanilla]

Now this is the core of it. You didn't control your H, no one can truly control another.

It just felt like you did and H acted as if you did.

Soboth of you are responsible for your M. The would be controller and the co-dependent.

Detaching from the outcome you will accept the part of the responsibility that is yours but no more.

It is often easier for the 'controller' to change than the 'co-dependent'.

Think of a rewarding friendship or work collaboration that you have had. One with give and take, you were probably in an equal detached R.

So detaching letting the other become the best they can be and achieve their own dreams gives you truly great R. You accept them, compromise adapt and love.

Know this too, it is much easier for the co-dependent to wake up from this. There are more resources NMMNG, co dependent no more, etc. There are fewer resources for the 'controller' and those that there are concentrate on abuse.

Controlling isn't abuse (it can be hand in glove) but actually it exists as the other side of the co-dependent dynamic.

So I believe the key and primary tool for the 'controller' is detachment. Self awareness and mindfulness are vital components.

I want the very best for you and that if you repair your R, it can be a new healthy R. This means your H doing the work to cease to be co-dependent or acting as if he is.

Know that this time and this space is healthy for you and your R.

You have time please take it.

It takes one to Tango, make the changes you need and detach from the outcome.

Let it unfold.

And yes, sooooo counter intuitive.

Excellent work.

V