I understand what you mean and have used the validating cheat sheet in the past few weeks and it has helped me a lot. That said, while she is entitled to her feelings (and I am doing better at acknowledging them) she doesn't have to be condescending about it and that was more my point. She would get a lot more understanding and validation from me if she would just drop the patronizing attitude. I mean, should I really just allow her to speak to me this way all of the time? I don't think that's healthy either. I'm trying to find a way to validate her feelings yet let her know that i don't appreciate the condescending remark. That said, this may go away as the whole household work load was addressed in our first MC meeting and I think my wife understood better how I looked at it (see earlier in this post) as I think I validated her part yet clearly defined our roles and responsibilities. She seemed to be ok with my take on it.
I think I'll go back and re-review the validation cheat sheet though. I'm finding it helpful to review the 37 rules and cheat sheets often.
Aside from this, I am getting sort of mixed signals from my wife. Her kissing me the other night but then she slept in an another room that same night. She slept in our bed Sunday night but last night she fell asleep on the couch and came to bed at 5am. She seems to want resolution in our marriage so I think we are on the right track and I'm doing pretty good at not pursuing her etc. She probably isn't liking that I'm not pursuing her and this may come up in our next MC meeting but my response would simply be that my wife is the one that said she wasn't attracted to me anymore so I've just pulled back to give her some space and try and rebuild our friendship and relationship. I am going to have to ask her at the MC session what exactly she wants from me at this point.
