Makes sense, but I'm not going to lie this is going to be tough. I love my kids so much. I'm rel bad at feeling guilty about stuff like this. WISH ME LUCK
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
Today is a tough day. I can't seem to quit obsessing about my wife. I want to call her , tell her I love her, and please give our marriage another chance. Attachment is very hard for me. I feel like if I don't say something to her, she's going to leave and say I never tried. The head games I play with myself are excruciatingly tormenting.
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
It's torture isn't it? We panic and feel have to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING.
It's hard to stand back and watch this trainwreck.
I can tell you though, you will not get the response you want if you call her and beg her stay. You will feel worse that you do now.
Many people have tried it over and over again here. I've NEVER seen it work.
Your W needs to respect you before she can feel attracted to you again. Telling her you love her as she walks away kills her respect for you.
From what I've seen, its when the WAW see's the LBH start to move on (move on for real - not fake it) that they start to come back around.
The hard part is that it takes a long time to actually move on from WAW. Thats why DB stresses GAL and detachment. It helps the LBS start to move on.
DB does work, not always, but enough to give it a shot. It's worked for me in the past. I'm back again, but I was able to get her back.
Obsessing is where I struggle too, my mind is literally my worst enemy. Replaying things over and over again. Replaying conversations, good times, all that stuff. All you can do is try to distract yourself as best as you can.
I realize it makes sense to you to call and beg her to give the M another chance and to tell her how much you love her. At this point for her, it is about respect. If a woman treats her H badly and he begs her to stay, in her mind he is basically saying that she can mistreat him and he will tollerate it.........just don't leave him. This only results with her disrespecting him more, b/c she sees it as weakness in him.
Her lack of respect for you as a man is getting in the way of her love. As a woman, she has to respect you as a man, before she is capable of desiring you....loving you as her H. That is how women are wired. That is why the way to win her back has to be by getting her respect. It starts with you refusing to take cr@p behavior from her.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Okay, thanks. I pick up the kids after school as of right now. Wife texted me and asked if I would stay with the kids a little extra today. She has a friend that had surgery today and would like to stop by and see her. I truly know that this a legitimate request, so I said sure. I don't want to be a total dick. I hope i made the right call. Any thoughts?
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
Is it really possible for me to save my marriage? I know, anything is possible ! I just feel so exhausted. I'm only 4 months into this and I feel I've already lost at least five years off my life. This [censored] is so draining.
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
Am I being a fool? My wife asked me to come watch the kids for a couple hours while she visited a friend in the hospital. This is the 2nd timethis week. I feel like u should say no, but I don't want to look like a jerk. Help sandi
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
