I know there's some stuff I need to work on. I just wish there was a way to speed up the process.
I shared with IC last night that I have a fear of being stuck in the bargaining/denial stages of grief. I struggle making it through the day. Yesterday afternoon was particularly hard.
My commute home from work is about 45 minutes, and I was a mess thinking about all of this. Im so glad I had an IC appointment, I really needed it.
I still struggle with finding out who I am. Who is Thornton? What makes him tick? What does Thornton like? I become enmeshed in my relationships and lose sight of that stuff. I become one dimensional, all my eggs in one basket.
I think that's why I struggle so much with break ups, I have my entire life wrapped up in another person. If that person leaves, I'm left stranded in the middle of a desert with no compass.
I won't give up. But I wish there was some sort of way to check my progress to avoid getting discouraged..
