Still NC - Let's do the limbo pt2

[Sotto]

Hi Thornton, your IC work sounds incredibly helpful and will be a good investment in yourself whatever the future holds. I would encourage you to carry on that track and keep digging/reflecting with support to improve your awareness of these themes and relational dynamics.

There have been a few DBers in the Bounder area. I know there is a Rebuilding Seminar that runs there too, if that's of any interest. I know you already have your divorce group - which sounds great anyway.

I'm encouraged when I see posts like the one above from you. It is a much better path than - how could she have done this? I thought we were soul mates? For your R with her, I actually don't think she would be doing you any favours if she turned back now and wanted to R. If I'm being really blunt here - She has 'bailed' twice already , has issues with her use of alcohol and some other 'brokenness' from her past. I think it is best to really explore that and carefully consider what you want and whether you would be willing to give things another try if she chose to turn back to the R. And I think the work you are doing will give you the strength and resources to make a healthy decision.

For now, you do have the gift of time - and I truly think it is a gift in this case (I know it may not feel that way - at all! - but I truly think you will look back and see the gift in hindsight.) For now, try your hardest to keep making the best of it.

Take care xx