Roar! It didn't hurt! Like some places did but I mostly talked and laugh the whole time.
Either I'm so used to hurting right now that it didn't or I'm a bad A who takes pain well.
The guy told me the foot hurt the worst and I might pass out or cry. 30 min tattoo and I was okay.
The best is yet to come.
Talked to H's highschool ex. We are friends..we were mutual friends in school. I asked her how they broke up before I dated him..same thing he did to me. She said it was a weirs question and if I wanted to know she would fully tell me but it might hurt.
He dated her..came back with an i have never loved you..and the first 2-3 months where we(me and h) werent serious he kept her on back burner while he had me full time and would give her just enough hope he might leave and never did. He would call her up and make her think he would leave and didnt. I know once when we first started dating that he had a 1am call from her and he said she was pyscho and I believed him.. I was 17 and knew she was alittle pyscho. I heard some voicemails from her and let it go.
She said she never hated me..that is the type of person he is. He broke her heart. Made her feel worthless. Made her question and second guess herself. She said it took her a long time to realize it was never her it was him. He was super controlling and had to have it his way or the high way. She had to change so much to make him happy.
We mostly talk about weightloss..or random easy things. Took a long time before I would talk to her. Did not tell her my sitch but it kind of confirmed this is who he is.
She said he didn't even want her back until she said F this and walked away for good. She gave up moving out to her dream college for him. She gave up her friends..gave up everything to have him throw it away for me.
I said I was sorry. I never knew he was doing that to her while we first dated.. I feel like that is how it is with me. He is using me and making me his plan B and making me want to say around as a game and nothing else.
She said it was soo long ago and ahe is engaged and getting married. Asked why I wanted to know. I said I have always wondered and he never told me. Figured since we are decent enough with eachother now I could ask.
Feeling..detached. Empty. Like this is who he is..who he will be..and I need to 100% give up and move on.
Maybe I'm just emotional but I think of him and just feel pain now. Nothing good anymore.
