But I'm sure not pursuing anything with her, nor do I really care what she thinks about me. She doesn't occupy any space in my head, and I'm sure this is the most I've thought about her in a year.
Thanks Vanilla. I say shudder b/c of what you mention above. It seems so cold to treat someone that I shared my life with life that. Even though he didn't hesitate to treat me coldly. I know I was very controlling in my M and this is something I've been working on since the beginning. And when I say "right now," I guess that's me still hanging on to my hope that I won't have to be so detached from him forever. If we got back together, I couldn't be detached like that with him.
"Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways."
