BTW - my wife has from time to time said "i'm not your mother" when referring to the housework etc. I find it insulting and have said so. She said the very same thing at the MC the other day saying "I feel like I'm his mother sometimes". MC didn't say anything and neither did I at the time as I was trying not to interrupt. But, I sometimes over react. What is the best response in this situation. Do I say, it's very disrespectful when you speak to me this way (or simply "don't speak to me that way - it's very disrespectful"). Her response will surely be to validate her reasons for saying it like "I say it because I do everything and you do nothing" etc. Often when I call her out on the way she speaks to me it starts with the word "because" and I tell her she is just validating the insult. As I said, I get overly defensive when insulted by her (I'm a little defensive overall these past years) and is one of the things I'm working on for myself. Just interested to see how others would recommend handling this type of situation.
None of this is validating.
In fact it is invalidating, failing to acknowledge the others view point.
Stating a feeling isn't an insult either.
Wonka has a brilliant cheat sheet on Validating, its in Cadet's opening posts as a link. I think using Validation in the way its meant to be would be the way to go.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
