My promotion at work has happened. I like the new position. I have a lot more responsibility, but I like it. I seem to do better with more stress and higher pressure at work. It is good.
With the promotion, I still see my "lady friend" but not as much. We still talk a lot. I think maybe she might be coming around to letting me take her to lunch. We shall see. I think she is a little "gun shy" because she knows my story and her last relationship ended badly. I'll keep you posted.
I still am struggling...REALLY struggling to get out of the house.....just no motivation. Last weekend, I spent the entire weekend at home, in my room. A few weeks ago, I did manage to get to the Phoenix Zoo. I didn't stay long, but it was nice to get out and see all of the wonderful animals. I got to hand-feed some stingrays. It was amzing.
I've turned into the exact opposite of who I was: a fairly well-known recognized local celebrity who was everywhere to someone who can barely manage to leave the house. This weekend, I went to the mall and went bowling with my oldest. So...atleast I got out.
Speaking of my oldest, he is still not speaking to XW. And...she is not speaking to him. He plans to get married in September and has asked me to be his best man.
As for XW, she sent our sons a Merry Christmas text two days late and a Happy New Year text two days late. But here's the kicker: Three weeks ago, (around the first of February) she stopped by and delivered twelve yes TWELVE dozen homemade Christmas cookies, one loaf of banana bread and.........FOUR CANDY CANES. I guess they really do operate on their own time. Funny stuff!
For me: I'm changed. Not the person I was at all. This whole experience changed me in more ways than I can put into words. The biggest change: my love for animals and the compassion I have for them. Totally strange. It's not a bad quality at all, but it is so different from who I was. I grew up in a family of hunters and fishermen. I used to do it myself and I feel absolutely terrible for all of the hunting and fishing I did when I was growing up. My boys have even noticed it. This sounds pretty pathetic to me, but I won't even litter anymore....not to protect the planet or anything like that but because it isn't good for the animals. When it rains, I worry about the birds and the rodents and hope that they are staying warm. I know....sad isn't it?
My sons and I have decided to get our own places this Summer. I'm excited, but scared at the same time. I'm scared because I won't be with them but also because I've never been on my own. I went from high school to marriage and have never lived by myself. It will be nice though to get my own place and to be able to decorate the way that I want. I just hope I can swing it all financially. I used to have a 155 gallon fish tank. I lost it in the divorce. My first purchase when I get my own place is to get another smaller one.
Anyways, that is all for now. Hope you are all well.
For the noobies: It does get better. It just takes time. Hang in there.
Tad
Currently: M 56 XW 57 Sons 38,33,31,29
The Sitch: Married 26 years EA w/ OM 9/10 Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary) Sep 12/10 She wants D 1/11 W files 5/11 D final 10/11 XW marries OM 6/13
