Vanilla, I love your last two posts. They brought me useful insight. I am sorry if I am being dense but could you clarify one thing. It seems determination is a component of self determination. Self Determination is determination focused on ones self. Determination will drive Self Determination but other motivations decide the direction of action. Is this true? If this is true, what are the other motivations?
Mu, self determination means that the drive is from an internal locus of control. It means managing ones own state to achieve.
A clever mind uses the adage from 12 steps, God (higher power) grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. We know that some things are not within our gift to have self determination and therefore we ask our higher power to provide the determination. That is internal vs external locus of control.
Self determination to me derives from the self in a unique combination of physiology, thought and belief. This results in focused action from a state of preparedness and to me this isn't driving of the self to action but the source of it. We need written goals to assist us otherwise no matter how determined we could be heading in the wrong direction.
I think an aware person uses external drivers to provide determination as well as internal ones. What it seems to me is you are learning how to make your state optimal to drive you to action.
For instance suppose the thought of a gold medal at the Olympics was a determinant, having a child, visiting the Andes, learning to dance. These are external motivators. Reward yourself with a new laptop if you pass an exam and so forth. A combination of drivers from the self and external.
Determination doesn't drive self determination, one is a sub set of the other, a little like genus and species in categorizing.
Thus it is the source to me not the destination if that makes sense?
My thinking
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Hi dday, always happy to see a post from you. I hope all is well with you. My weekend was fine, the Friday night we went to our friends home for a dinner party. The evening showed me how far apart we are. Saturday I installed my grow box hinges and they work perfectly. My daughter helped me design the next step and I picked up supplies for it. Sunday we did our taxes and am happy we don't as much as the last few years.
I try to stay in the here and now because the future is an anticipated thought and I don't like what I foresee. Your posts bring me joy please don't disappear on me even if it's a brief visit once a week or two. I miss our old crew. How are you doing and how are the boys. Fo is in a rough patch, maybe you could spend a moment on her thread and share your thoughts with her. Be well dday
Mu! I'm still here. Just really feel I haven't much to contribute. But, I still like to read up on some sitches. Boys are great! They still ask why, and when this will be over... I wish I could answer that some days. We have basketball nearing it's end, science fair was this past weekend. Now it's on to baseball and 4H. I am looking forward to doing those projects with them.
Glad to see that your d is helping you on the grow box. Soon you will need it! Sorry to hear that you see the gap as widening. It's tough, I know. My advice? For what it's worth... Please remove her from the pedestal that you have put her on. Find things to be happy. Remember that she is on a journey as well... it's not personal. Find beauty, and enjoy life.
I hope you have a great day mu!
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Sorry things are the way they are mu, it's a rough situation to be in. One day, hopefully soon, you will be in a much stronger and happier place where what W is doing won't effect you. She is on a journey also just as the others have said and I have no doubt you will be fine. Your also a smart guy and I hope you fine some breadcrumbs around here. Party bus, purple mohawk, etc. The people on these forums are all great people and I'm glad to see we all find this community together that lets us grow. Your W is in a place that you can't do anything about. What you can do is live your life and be happy. It doesn't mean doing anything about the sitch, just taking in the day and appreciating the little things. Get caught up in the moments and don't let the mind fixate on W. There's beauty in all of the day if you let it find you and be open to it.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Hi Mu. Thank you I saw your post on my page. I'm good, but not much to say right now. I think my time here is coming to an end. So many new faces and stories and really I have very little to offer, as I said I am a terrible Dber. The likes of V and Zues and the vets. Well they get it.
Please check out my post to you on your thread dated 2/14 ( I had to think about writing that date us kiwis write the date other way around, I also use a lot more z's instead of s since being here) anyway, the last sentence was specific and for you. Follow the breadcrumbs Mu. Get your FB up and running and come find me.
