I'm sorry you are having a tough time of it. {{{{{hugs}}}}}. Don't really have much to add to everyone else's posts, just sending love and hugs your way.
oxoxoxoxox
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver