I'm sorry for your sitch... I'm no expert and I can only share my experience which has + and - I was not in the same boat as you, but i recommended the sep vs divorce.... It didn't help my sitch at all. It just caused me more pain because I was thinking we could use the time to work on ourselves (and I had his agreement too, but it was just lip service). Fortunately, the s did force me to work on myself and I'm a healthier (almost) happier and more well rounded person than I was before bd. You can only focus on yourself... So if you are going to propose doing something to get an action/reaction out of her, it likely will not work.
Others might chime in... That's just my experience
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
