We haven't talked with D5 yet. I'm trying to channel Betsey right now. .. when D5 came home after being at stbx's for a week, I said, "are you happy to be home?" or something like that. Maybe not the best choice of words.
Got a long email today expressing his concern about my use of that phrase. He wants her to think of both our places as her homes, which he says is a clear contrast to what it was like when he was a kid. (Aha, little nugget that he never felt like his dad's place was his home ).
Yes, of course that's the ideal. He seems to forget that I've been the one encouraging him to , you know, keep some clothes and PJs for her at "their" apartment so she doesn't have to live out of a suitcase every time.
Sooo... channeling Betsey because my first reaction is that he's got a lot of nerve. But I'm trying to take a step back and try responding in a different way.
I could just ignore it, or I could validate his concern. I used to think it made me seem weak when I apologized or validated his feelings... I didn't feel like I got that in return. But I don't need his validation. I know my strength and my worth and so it wouldn't cost me anything to give him that because he is not where I derive my sense of self-worth from.
