Red,

You are clearly very scared of H. Has he ever hit you? Cuss you out?

I would tell H that your life is none of his business anymore. That he lost that right the moment he slept with OW.

The only way you will get H back is if he RESPECTS you. He doesnt have ANY RESPECT for you.

You have to be strong enough to tell him you will NEVER answer his personal questions about you. Then you actually have to do it.

He's not coming home until you stop putting up with his sh!tty controlling, abusive behavior. And even then, there's no guarantees.

You need to get so solid with yourself that you have ZERO fear of him. ZERO.