I Think it's Way Too Late

[1313]

TimR,
I've considered this a message from God to get back into the fold. Message received and understood.

What's mind blowing is that the W was a good Christian, and turned her back on her Church and her beliefs about a year ago. At first I didn't ask or push it - but now I know why she left. Everything makes sense in retrospect. Her parents can't believe it, but she's made her choice. I on the other hand have no place to turn, except to put myself into the hands of Jesus. He'll take me just as I am.

Certainly, possessions are just things. But some of those things I really love - and have brought me great joy. There's something about aArt, when it has no dollar value to you any longer, rather it's priceless in the happiness it brings you and others. One of these pieces in particular represents both of us, and the sacrifices I made to acquire it. We literally designed a niche over the fireplace for it. It will sell in a heartbeat, because there's only a few of them in existence. That hurts. Things like cars, motorcycles, electronics - meh. Those can be replaced. The art cannot and I will never see anything like them again.

The house also hurts, because I designed so much of it, worked on so much of it and now it's nothing. Another thing that hurts is it's "D's house". My little dog, who died of cancer - I worked so hard to keep her alive and happy and healthy. A thread by itself. The weekend she died (the W did some very selfish things that weekend) I brought her home and carrying her up the front steps I could see her looking at the house and remembering- I could see the gears turning - and knowing this was where she belonged. I'm tearing up right now.

Yes, I resent my W for doing all of this. All of this for reasons I'll never fully understand. But on the surface they appear incredibly shallow. This is going to leave a huge void - and I know I'll move on but I'll never fully recover. If I can somehow leverage one of the properties for that house I'll do it - but I know she'll fight me every step of the way.