Yesterday's gone. Tomorrows not here... (3)

[otw]

Anytime she comes forward and starts talking about the whole situation they are looking to see how we will respond. Many people would probably immediately get into the talk and respond how they feel as well and want things to be better with them etc..

you did well from what you wrote that you just validated.

If it wasnt really a temp check she would have probably showed more than what you thought was a little remorse. I would be looking for an apology and her saying she wants to work on the relationship now, not that she wishes she would have tried harder. Who knows if she is still willing.

I know you can say well maybe she is looking for an opportunity to go further in what she says. I get it, and also believe my W would be the same way and never let her pride say she wants to try and would have to be led, but i dont think you are there yet. we need a little more out her in my opinion.

So maybe the response on the tax stuff, then add in that she hope she is feeling better today. I am not sure about this part but let her know if she needs to vent you may be available later. That last part may be too much and pursuing, but might be ok. You will have to make her feel somewhat safe to open up more if she really wants to.
i think if this draws her out then we can see about the next interaction.

think of it this way, I know you heard the analogy of walking along together and she was in front of you and you kept chasing her, everyone says we need to stop and see if she looks back, well i think she is looking back. if you start walking again she will prob start as well. We need her to start walking back while you are still first.

Now this is strictly my thinking, I have thought about this alot as I hope for the opportunity some day, As I said i have had small pieces but never anything developed and I believe my W may not ever even if she does feel it because she will feel foolish about what she did and wont backtrack to not look bad.

let me know what you think.