Sometimes these relationships are meant to teach us. Teach what? 1) That it is possible for you to find love with someone who loves you back (huge, in my book); and 2) There are teaching moments with ourselves as well - like stating your needs (boundaries).
I'm sure we both came from different, dark places. In my past, I'd have made his behavior as the reason I was unhappy. Somewhere along the line, I learned that he was behaving out of a place of fear (as your fella seems to be doing) and not to bug me but because he was genuinely fearful. I accepted that, but I wouldn't accept the disrespectful manner. So I stepped up to the plate and said, "I need straight communication from you and for you to ask clearly for what you want. If this isn't possible, I need to know." And then I'd sit back and see if anything changed. Then I was free to act on that.
Hear hear to feeling better!
After not feeling well all day yesterday, I realized the skin on my abdomen hurt. Kind of like a rash was developing or something... until I lifted my shirt and saw the telltale shingles blisters. There are only 3 so far, but my skin hurts like hell. I can't take the antivirals (they cause my heart rate to speed up to dangerous levels), so I'm stuck with feeling crappy for the next 4-6 weeks. My clothes are going to hurt - especially pants. I live in pants. This is the opposite side to where I got them in 2012.
Today is my now D22's birthday. Hard to believe. D18's birthday is next week. For her celebration, she has an EEG scheduled. I'm sure we're all going to be happy then.
So remember when you talk to him: it's not about how he's behaving, it's about how you feel. Once you do that and word it that way, you're a whole lot more likely to get honesty in return.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
