If you could not attend and act detached if W shows up with OM then you definitely should not attend. I would worry less of the pursuing/spying feelings she may have as I would worry about the above. Showing that you have not detached would hurt your M IMO worse. I know I will have to confront a similar issue in the future. If I see W and OM together, what will happen? Will I be able to act detached or will SWAT be pulling me off him??? Hence why I will be avoiding that at all costs right now!
Good luck with your L meeting today! Just remember even with a D you can still save the marriage! While I can not speak personally for anybody on this thread, I can tell you I know a couple "in real life" that got back together after D.
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16