have i been making mistakes too long part 7

[tkdmme]

I threw a birthday party for my S11 this weekend. All went well and he and his friends had a great time. I took the kids home last night and again everything went well.
So im not sure why I feel so depressed this morning. It has been nearly a year since she said she wanted a divorces and 16 months since it all started.
I still have mornings that I can barely breathe and feel so sad. I remember people on this site telling me to be ready for the long haul but I had no idea just how long the haul would be.

I woke up this morning wanting to tell the W that I still love her and want her to come home but at this point I know better. I know that no matter what I say, I am the enemy in her eyes.