I slept again last night, so thankful for that. It amazes me that I even funtioned on the amount of sleep I've had in the last month.
Today, I woke up with a case of the why's? I still struggle with trying to make sense of all this stuff and the timeline.
I know I will probably never know why she left, again. Is it because she is a recovering alcoholic struggling to maintain sobriety in her own mind? Or does she really and truly not love me anymore?
I did get the ILYBINILWY when she dropped the bomb. It's funny because earlier in the day I texted her that I loved her and she responded with I LOVE YOU TOO!!! And a bunch of kissing emoticons.
It's hard to tell what's real or not. I keep replaying things, conversations, things she said in my mind and trying to reconcile them. I wonder if there were clues along the way that I missed that this was coming down the pike.
There certainly weren't any clues when we were living apart but dating and house hunting. I thought we were all set to make a run at a long future together. She was so excited as was I.
Clearly I'm not detaching and still in the obsessive stage. There are so many unknowns and that keeps me on edge.
