You did the right thing calling the authorities to help with your out of control D17. You are handling this crisis much better than the time your W drove away with the baby. Your D17 is angry and it would be better if you kept some distance from her until the situation is calmer. She probably needs therapy to help her deal with her emotions.

It appears it is time to physically part from your W, to prevent further emotional damage to the children. It is so sad, but you do not want more tragedy to come.

Just my suggestion, if you know your W is going to drive away with boxes she's packed for moving, it might be best if you were not there to see her. It seems to have a psychological effect on you, and you don't want to over react.

Again, good job at staying calm with your D17. I know you probably want a chance to talk to her, but I think your talk will have to come after she has had time to get through this immediate drama. What about your sons? How are they dealing with this? Did they see their sister threatening to run away and commit suicide?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!