Help!

[CWOL]

This could be seen as punishment and is very alienating, it's a little bit blanket advice and very irreversible. Once done can not easily be undone. You can have the strategy of reality biting with in-house S too.

If you are saying I helped you move out because this is for me and in house S is not right for me that's one thing but to do so to give WW a shock punishment that's another and might not be helpful.

As a matter of fact under the law your spouse has legal rights to financial and other resources and access to her son. Some areas have no fault divorces and in others her A will impact this. You have the right and the obligation to put your case.

The cold shower is what life is like without the protection of your M and without you or your portion of the assets or income as a resource. Being strong with your boundaries and stance is important and the right detachment will help.

Punishing WW isn't detachment or doing that which works.

And yes this is counter intuitive.

OM is a symbol of your W waywardness not the cause. You have no control over your WW. Work on you and detach.

Thoughts

V

Not sure if you read through my thread, the OM was around three years before my marriage, 7 months after my marriage, and now. I don't think he is a symptom, but one of the causes. WW is in a fantasy thinking that OM is her one "true" love, even though he rejected her time and again. She emailed him for at least 9 years before I discovered it on D-Day.

Her moving out is her own plot, not mine. I offered in-house S but she rejected it point-blank. I only discovered her plans to Divorce and move out when the plans were solidifying. I talked to my attorney and others and they think rather than trying to stop her, it may be the best way to give her her "freedom" so she can experience life without my support. Hopefully she can evaluate it rationally, as I'm not trying to punish her.