Divorce Papers

[TimR]

Well the fluctuations continued through out the weekend for me which while I keep telling myself detach continue to affect me and dampen my mood.

On Saturday W was happy to drop S off so I could take him to weigh ins. She text me when she was on her way to drop him off and even text a bit about what she was doing. So it was fine, not promising, get your hopes up but fine. Took S to weigh in and then to eat. He decided he wanted to stop and watch the high school kids at sectionals.

I was only planning on staying a bit but after only 1/2 hour, I get a text "why is my S not home" Knowing there was going to be trouble, I figured I would hit it head on rather than allowing her to stew and anger her further. Wrong choice!!! Upon calling she immediately began yelling at me. Telling me this is why she left me, because I never think about her and just do what I want. I don't care about anyone but myself. She knows what I am doing and is not going to put up with it. And while SHE is trying to be civil about all this I continue to treat her poorly. I tried to validate but that was not working. I know she could tell by my voice that she got to me.

After her yelling at me so long and me trying to say I understand you are angry, we are leaving now I can drop him off where ever you are, I eventually decided to hang up on her and keep the boundaries. I calmed down and text her, I understood while she was angry but I would not allow her to speak to me like that anymore. If she wanted to talk fine but not threatening or accusing me. She of course text back still angry.

Later then I told text her saying what time S needed to be at the tournament. I planned to go out for a beer with a friend and she called when she called me of course while I was getting out of the shower. I acted as if and made sure to have a smile on my face when I answered. When she complained she could not hear me very well cause she was on speaker, I explained to her I had just got out of the shower and was getting dressed (which is unusual for me, so she knew I was going somewhere) she then started accusing me of acting weird. She did not ask where I was going. Instead she just kept say, "You are just acting so weird, I can't handle it." and "why are you acting so weird."

Today then she was fine at the tournament. We joked a bit but she was not really warm. She left S with me as she had a viewing to go to. After I got home, she text me a thank you for bringing S back and told me about the viewing. I validated and she text a few more times.

One thing I noticed is the longer she is away from her mom, the better our R is currently. But if she spends any significant time with her mom, I am sure to hear about something.

Also it seemed to bother her that I was going out, but I do not think she could bring herself to ask what I was doing. I do not know if it will help at all, but I had some fun.

Just when I think that I am detaching well, she throws me these curve balls. Dropping the rope and detaching would be easy if she was always mean. However, when she is nice I just think of wanting her back so bad and touching and holding her.

Regardless, guess I will see what this week brings.