Time for a new direction

[mleigh4]

Started the weekend feeling a bit "blah" Feeling really tired yet not sleeping well. I think it is from being off routine, not working, walking or doing yoga has thrown me into a "blah" state!

Yesterday I dropped off S to H. Nothing exciting there. I did some errands and then went and enjoyed an evening at my friends new home.

This morning I woke up determined to shake off the blah. I started with a 2 mile walk. I piddled around the house and ordered some birthday party supplies for S upcoming birthday party.

I picked some flowers blooming in my backyard and put into a vase.

Best of all, I sat in the sun in my backyard and rotated between reading and closing my eyes. This is the most relaxed I got during this whole vacation! Just the quiet along with birds chirping is just what I needed.

H brought S home. H told me they saw Star Wars last night. He said they also want to see Kung Foo panda and asked if one week night we can go together to see. I asked H, did S tell you I want to see that badly? (which I do) H laughed and said yes. I told him it sounds like a plan.

He was heading to Costco. I need to go too, almost said so, then realized I didn't feel like going with him.....

I know he has been initiating family time, and I have slowly been letting my guard down and opening up to it, I am happy about it....but not always in the mood.

On another note, I was searching for a spare key when I needed one to have my friend feed my cat while I was away. I only have one, and I remembered FIL and MIL have a key to my house. I figure there is no reason for that any longer. I suppose I could let it go and just have more extras made, but I don't really WANT them to have a key to my house. That was H doing, not mine. I don't have a key to their houses! OK, I will admit, it's the principal of it and the stubborn in me.

I was going to ask H to get the keys from his parents but decided no reason to get him involved. Plus it would never get done. So I emailed them, stating I need spare keys and could I please get theirs from them.

FIL emailed back "What??"

I guess I could just let it go, get more keys made. I just feel this strong desire to cut more ties, one by one. It's getting stronger and stronger. I suppose this tie may be a bit silly, but it matters to me. I really need to deal with this anger I feel towards my in-laws. It comes and goes....

Going to make some dinner and hang with my little guy. Hopefully getting back on schedule will help me to feel like myself again!