V I have been reading up on the abuse and it made me cry. Really cry to have to admit I'm with someone who may not be physically abusive but in many other ways.
Isolation- barely having any friends and they all stopped trying because i never was able to do anything..also being a stay at home mom was so lonely.
Financially- no bank account..not allowed on his account. Only give x amount of money a month. He can buy and spend whatever but when I wanted something we had a we are spending too much money talk. Now I have to almost beg for money for gas and groceries and if I'm allowed to pay my bills such as my kohls card with his debit card.
Defining- his way or the high way is usually how it went
Sexually- If he wanted it I never said no, I could be asleep or sick or tired and he would bug me or pout until I said fiiiine okay. That or before he left the week before he was with holding or saying he was too tired..made me feel awful about myself. Almlst had to beg him to hug me.
Make up sex always after an argument even while separated. Once I even asked him if he gets horny when I cry since he always would have a boner or want sex after I am crying. Same day he told me he really wanted a divorce it was during sex. DURING.
Walking on eggshells.
Feelings dismissed. He would tell me I'm crazy and trying to connect dots but then I found out I'm not crazy. At once point I was on a mood stabalizer since I felt so down and crying and didnt know what I was so wrong to ruin my marriage.
Monitors me at all times even separated.
Some stalking..sometimes he shows up at my moms or my house or places he knows I am. Hasn't done it lately but he sometimes has done it. Always randomly at times. Always unannounced.
Blaming level 5
Opposing level 5
Denial, lying, forgetting like level 10 can deny and lie to my face while holding me and not even have his heart rate weaver but the truth he has to tell me on the phone such as cheating..or something bad or serious.
Jokes sarcasm teasing level 10 while separated he made a joke about how i might weigh more then him but I'm not stronger then him. It broke my heart. I've lost 30 lbs since then because it hurt me deep. He said it was a joke. I saw it as he thought I'm fat..even though I had already lost 60 plus lbs at the time.
Covert aggressive manipulation level 6.. Its a new thing he has done since being separated.
