Help!

[CWOL]

Personally, I do not remember one case where the LBS detached, correctly, that did not have positive results form him/her. However, I am not going to tell you that that one act, alone, brought the M to piecing. It plays a huge part, I believe, but it is not the only action the LBS needs to take. You can read countless stories of where the emotional attachment from the LBS helped to push the WS further away.

I hope I do not sound rude, b/c that is not my intentions.

No, you do not sound rude, quite the contrary to the other forums espousing their particular agenda. Most have a harsher response, "Our method works and if you don't like it, take a hike."

It is tough because it is very contrarian. I tried it last night and today. Last night our family went out to a sporting event which was my Xmas gift to my S. I bought some refreshments and brought it back. Then my WW wanted some other stuff for her and my son. Normally, I would have just gotten up and get it it for her. But this time, I resisted and silently sat there. My thinking is, she has diverted her income (however little) since January to her secret account away from our joint account, why should I pay for anything?

This morning, she made an unreasonable request about my son's sporting activity. I said, no, I'm not going to do that, why don't you do it instead. She was very surprised and a bit peeved, but she did it anyway. In the past, I would have just done it to avoid conflict. It did feel kind of good to make her take responsibility on these things.

I'm sure every newbie that comes onto this board has the same question about Detaching, if it would further drive away their WW. My WW is hanging on by a thread now, she's about to move out.

I helped facilitate her move out, based on advice I received that she would get a cold dose of what a 48 year old woman faces on her own. I'm planning to fight to keep her support payments as low as possible and for S to be with me 50% of the time.