Back again 8 years later

[daybyday]

Just obsessing again while she's gone visiting a relative for a while. I mentioned the counselor and her mentioning the codependent relationship we have. I just have to wonder if somehow her conclusion is that it's a black and white issue. That because she feels this way that the only way to "fix' her is to get out and try to become independent. All relationships are codependent to some degree. I wish she would come to see that happiness and independence can come from a healthy marriage. I know that I have grown in the area of not being so possessive and allowing her to do her thing. But, I guess I lacked in some other areas such as affirmation and intimacy that comes from just paying attention. I will say again that she does love me and seems to be torn (by actions and things she says) but maybe she feels like bailing is the only way to get fixed. And it is so hard to not want to try and convince her of ways this thing could be so good. I don't think she sees that it could. It's so hard to just gal and wait for the other shoe to fall. I don't know. Sadness taking over again.