WW, My Addiction, Patience, and Hope - III

[trumpet]

It took 4 months, but dealing with the sitch is so much easier now. I can rationally think. Staying calm.

Went to church with the kids. Wife went to second service. Had a mission trip meeting - we sat apart.

Going out with a divorced guy my age tonight. He goes to church with me, but have never hung out. His ex-wife did the same thing to him, and I'm looking to someone who went through the same sitch for some pointers that I might have missed. He's a good guy, a great drummer, and very successful. Had a beautiful wife, but it sounds like she went wayward.

Pastor wants to meet up with me on Tuesday. Wed. I have counseling. Going to be an absolutely crazy week.

Have no interest in talking with wife right now. I have no clue if her phone is stuck to her head talking to OM, if they're sexting in the bathroom, and where she was for 2 hours after the mission meeting. It's gotten to that point, ladies and gents. Letting go.

I'm not all the way there, where nothing is felt in me. But true love is letting her go, and find her 'happy'. She desperately wants to be happy, and not depressed. Is it withdrawls? Will she ever be happy with me? I don't know, and only God knows. She doesn't see the commitment aspect as all that important to her, so I'm ok now letting her find herself. Man, it's going to really hurt the kids. That's what I fret about. But she deserves to be happy, if she's never been happy, she should try to find it. Maybe she'll come back. I don't know - I'd love to see if we could put things back together. But it's not my choice. Time to be nice to her, show her I care, but to live as if.