Checking to see what your "legal" rights are is the smart thing to do right now. You should check around to see if lawyers in your area have a free consultation. Also, check on line to see what the laws are in your area. It pays to know what you are entitled to just in case you opt to divorce him or vice versa.
As for passwording your computer...that's a must since he slipped up and was sitting there using yours when you walked in the door. He may have been doing something very innocent, but when it comes to mlc, red flags tend to pop up for me. Also, you'll need to check to see if he's typed in a command, whereby he can read incoming emails, but he won't be able to respond to them. My xh, who thought he was a clever little imp, slipped up and told him mother what he had done and she contacted me immediately and sure enough, I located the command and deleted it. I would never have thought he would have been that devious to do something like that...but mlc turns them into people you don't know and let's face it, we truly do not know what they are capable of when they are out on the street until they do things.
So, play it smart, do your homework and keep what you learn to yourself. Take care of your computer and make sure that all of your important papers that you do not want your nosey little imp to see are in a safe place. You may even want to get yourself a small safe and lock them up in there...but don't ever think he won't go a search mission to see what you've been up to.
Setting boundaries, visitation schedules, etc., may not get ugly. It all depends upon how you present the issues to him. Stay calm, keep your voice even and look him in the eye when you tell him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
