I haven't been around much lately. It seems you are have a little slide backwards. You know I saw Huddy's post and I thought to myself you know I reckon G is going to much better than he anticipates being in his own place. You know I reckon space from all the is or isn't going to happen, will in some way be a relief. Finally you will know and with that comes two things.
1. The unknown thing that you have been thinking about anticipating and turning into a huge monster is no longer unknown, you get to see the thing that has been freaking you out. Your imagination stops running wild and reality can set in.
2. You can feel the independence of being your own man, making decision that in most instances effect only you. Imagine yourself, (when you don't have the children) being able to do exactly as you please. This morning I lay in bed for two hours chatting with friends online. My washing needed to be folded, more washing to be done. I needed to tidy my bedroom. And I did none of it until I wanted to. There was no one there to think I was being lazy, not helping, no feelings of judgement. Its a good feeling G.
Sometimes it is easy to imagine how bad things are going to be, but G, it is equally as easy to allow your brain to think about how good it might be too.
Maybe G, maybe just every now and then, imagine the how good it might feel thinking and worry about only you.
Just a little crazy suggestion, try it on for size and see where you mind takes you if you allow yourself only a stream of thought about how good it could be.
Hope this passes soon. We know it does just read back on your threads. It totally confirm that these feelings pass and you get a second wind. Do believe everything you think G. It may not be true.
