Ghost Busting Round Six - it's about me

[ATPeace]

Thank you for the last few posts I know that this is where I need to be

I really need some support I don't need a bashing I am at the end

I had a very difficult night last night I am away with my younger children at my sisters my eldest daughter is at home and have had little contact with my wife I know she was going out last night my eldest daughter told me and she told me that she was going out for a meal and then off to two different night clubs.

I have been feeling very low and stupidly I tried phoning her at 1.30 am eventually she answered after hanging up the phone before answering three or four times I could've been calling about the children or anything as it was I was trying to phone her as I was feeling very low

I do not know what I expected there was a lot of background noise she was clearly at a nightclub and I guess she would have been enjoying herself and the last person that she wanted to speak to would have been me

She was cold and very distant towards me and un caring unloving she just wanted to get back to her friend and the nightclub

I hung up from her and ended up on the phone to the Samaritans for over an hour

This situation is affecting me I really do not know if I will get through this and I know when I go back home I know a conversation will take place because of the fact that I called her whilst she was out

I cannot continue with an in-house seperation with no chance of getting back with her it is killing me

Please be strong for me I do not need a bashing from you guys I do not have a plan of what is going to happen or how I would like things to pan out when I get home I will be shooting from the hip

Do I go home and tell her as I walk in through the door that I am done and I cannot do this any longer

Do I call her from here and say I am sorry for calling her

Do I wait for her to bring it up when I get home then agree with whatever she says with relation to what happens next

I still love her and desperately want to Try and finds way to fix this I feel I have to start to hate her I do not want to hate her

Feeling destroyed and shattered

Ghost