Rednail: OW confirmed..going dark

[NYGal]

I just read more of your thread. I think all the questions about the kids are his way of staying in touch. My W did that. She would call a lot and ask me questions about the house. Dumb and obvious questions. I think it was just to get a read on how I was feeling about her while she was (is) trying to decide to keep her disgusting affair going or come back to me. I always answered and always tried to help her out. Until last weekend, Valentine's effing weekend, when she didn't call at all after pretty much convincing me we were getting back together. So I told her to leave me alone, to stop contacting me, and that as long as she's with ow I am backing away. I hated doing it but I couldn't stand the ups and downs anymore. Plus, I hope it will result in her thinking she is losing me and come back. But even if it doesn't, I don't have to participate in the horrible cat and mouse game anymore. You know, where the cat keeps playing with the mouse until it's so traumatized it dies.

Back away from him NOW. It's most effective at the beginning, at least that's what my DB coach told me. Until you've been able to get some rest and think clearly, Do. Not. Engage. With. H. Make him wonder. Don't let him cake eat. Make him want to come back to the newly mysterious Rednail. If you have to talk about the kids, you end the conversation first. Do not cling, beg or pursue. Don't text back. If he really needs an answer, wait several hours and let him sweat. You can do this. If you don't know what to say then say nothing. Read the validation statements and have some ready for the next time you talk. Don't give him the satisfaction of temp checking you. Be mysterious!