Zues gave me an assignment awhile back on my thread. I thought I was getting somewhere with trying to understand my H's point of view by thinking of everything he ever told me, comments he made, any clue to why he was unhappy enough to leave. But when I really dug deep to do the assignment, I could actually feel his pain. It floored me and almost made me lose all hope in any chance in R. That's how bad it felt to realize my part in hurting the man I loved.
But then I also realized a bit later that it wasn't ALL my fault that he felt this way. He assumed the reasons for my actions without ever discussing how he felt. Or clarifying how I felt. Then he acted inappropriately, crossing marital boundaries, in retaliation and punishment for what he assumed were purposeful behaviors on my part. And then he filed for D. This then brought enough anger up to help me to detach.
I can't control him and trying to leads to pain and disappointment. I can only detach, while staying positive and focusing on my Ds and myself; taking care of me and being a great mom again.
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
