Need help. Threading water, must learn to swim.

[G8r]

Thank you for stopping by TimR and 1313. I was leaning towards not saying anything and that seems to be the concensus here on the board. Sorry to hear you have made so many mistakes 1313. We all have. If we hadn't, I doubt we would be here, particularly on a Saturday night. Lol.

I have up and down days TimR. Had a good Friday night. Went out for some beers and trivia with friends and came in 2nd place. We're going to the tournament of Champions for trivia tomorrow.

I went to take a look at Montessori school for D3 today. It was really cool but a bit pricey so WW and I will be looking at a few other alternatives. WW invited me to lunch afterwards to talk about it. Conversation was all right initially but then WW asked me about taking D3 with her to her mother's house over spring break. She asked me if I wanted her to meet me in my parent's city on my weekend that week, which was code for I want to see the om who lives about 2 hours away from her mother's house rather than the 9 or 10 hours from our house. Don't really know if I messed up or not but I told her that D3 was not to see the om and that's where things nose dived. She became defensive. I responded that she has done that previously and I didn't want it to happen again to which she responded that I forced her to take our D3. I almost lost it but I took a deep breath and told her that I never have forced her to do anything. She started spewing so I just STFU. She thinks I was angry so she banned me from going to the circus with D3 and her for a 2nd time (I got reinstated after 1st ban). I continued with the STFU and thought WW began to mellow otw home because she was asking me how I used to treat ear infections that I got. But she wasn't done. Shortly after getting home (we still live together) she texted me to say that it was sad that I can't get along with her enough to be there for our kid. She really wanted me to go with them to the circus for D3 but she would not subject her to my anger. Lol. She was the one who was angry, not me. In the past I would have responded but I ignored her text. Later she texted me to complain that I didn't thank her for lunch but she was willing to let that slide and wanted to know if I wanted to have pizza with them for dinner. I took the opportunity to validate. Told her that she was right, I should have thanked her for lunch and then thanked her. Followed up by saying no thanks for dinner. She was still angry with me when she left but had calmed down by time she returned with pizza and offered me a slice. I declined. A little later, our friend called to see if I was going with them to the trivia tournament of Champions tomorrow. Said I didn't know and asked my WW the status of going to circus tomorrow. She was still ambivalent so I told friend that I was going to trivia.

WW started complaining that I don't communicate with her after I got off the phone. I told her that I didn't need to communicate with her because it wasn't related to our D3, particularly since I was ready to bail on trivia to spend time with D3 at circus. Was I wrong to not communicate in this instance? I don't think so but I would like opinions. A bit later I heard my WW'S stomach make a sound and asked her about it. She said excuse me, sorry for the noise. I asked her if she was ok so she proceeded to tell me that she didn't have to tell me because it wasn't related to D3. Oh well. I told her good night. I hope you feel better and left it at that.

This bit of ignoring her and responding in positive friendly manner feels really good and powerful to me. I feel good about myself and don't kick myself for saying stupid things out of anger to her like I did previously. Good stuff.

Looking forward to trivia tournament of Champions tomorrow. Woo! Hoo!