Do not trust her! I agree that something fell through for her. My first guess is that it has to do with OM, and she has ulterior motives for going home. Did she clarify if this was just temporary? Did she imply she wanted to come back for good?

I think this is your opportunity to stand your ground with her. She should not be able to pop in and out of your lives whenever she decides. I think you could tell her that, "It's just not that simple anymore". If she asks what you mean, tell her that there are several things will have to change, and if she can't do it, then prepare for divorce. Tell her you still have a lot to think over, but you have decided you will not live in a home with the disrespect she has shown you. If she can't interact in a respectful manner, she need not return. If she is not willing to do what is necessary to save the MR, then what's the point in her coming home (except for her own selfish reasons).

Also, I think you should tell her that you have decided you deserve a M that does not include a third party. The only way you will agree to her coming back is for her to agree to no more contact with OM, and agree to a transparency plan. The transparency plan will help her with the withdrawals from the affair. If she gets mad about being transparent, then do not let her come back.

In other words, those two areas are things that you must have, before she can just march into your home and pick up as though nothing has happened. if you allow her to come back without holding her feet to the fire, your hell will continue. I think she just wants to stay until something better opens up. Either her apartment, or OM asks her to join him. She isn't showing any signs of wanting to work on the MR. Don't be fooled into one of her tricks. Whenever a WW has one of sudden change of plans.......it usually is not b/c she has woke up and realizes how much she loves her H.

Be very careful. Her attitude in her conversations will give away her true feelings about you and working on the MR. At least, it should give you some clue. She should be humble, if she is authentic. I just doubt very seriously this has anything to do with the M.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!