Just don't do anything right now. It's all reaction and your state of mind is upside down.
As much as you can, try do not think about what you want dto do about your R. Don't think that he will get married tomorrow and live happy ever after. It won't happen just like that.
For sure you can't control him or the b***h. But you can control you. And it's that control of yourself that can be your lifesaver with or without your H.
You have been reading some stories here about WAS that had As and it crumble with time. So, do not think it is all resolved.
How can you think you want to save your M when you are so hurt and angry?
It's one day at a time for now. Even an hour at a time. Give yourself room to breathe.
All what you are feeling right now will tell you to destroy all around you. But think about the big picture. It's what you do today that will count tomorrow.
About his stuff, don't bother yourself with it. It's just stuff. Do what your heart feels ok. You don't want to fold his clothes, then don't.
There is a lot more inside of you that will come forward. There is a strong woman there that you will find out and that woman will be your best friend.
She will stand up for her rights and protect herself and the cubs, she will struggle and still find her job, make her money, she will look good no matter the tears left on the pillow.
No one can take that woman from you.
As much as it hurts, start preparing yourself for the worst, hope for the better and start DBing. It will save you some time out of desperation world.
You have all rights to be sad and angry. Give yourself that right. In the meantime, get a list of paperwork you need to have in case you will be served. Ask your L for that list and as you can start gathering that.
Yes, you will say it is unfair and it is. But no one can prepare for this. It's very unfair and dirty, but they will have their time too. What was a very exciting A is now in the open and some of the magic is already out of the window.
Some As start dying the day the bomb explodes. He will change and she will change and only time will tell if these changes will be the same venom that will kill the A. So give yourself a rest and don't think of what to about him or her at this moment.
It is what you will do with yourself that is important now. It's what you want that is important now. Do you want to leave the house? He is not the focus at this moment.
Don't let your emotions to take the best of you and lose focus. Remember that you will have time to think about your R. It's your life, your security, your kids that are the focus right now.
Love yourself above all of this. You are more then all the garbage he is splashing right now. She is a scam bag that will show her real colors soon enough. Let them have their time and show what a real woman, with solid values, respect, can do when faced with so much adversity.
Some time ago my XH said that he is very proud of me, that in the midst if so much pain I never lower myself. After the whole fiasco, when his A is just dust, he look at me and see a woman with values and not some scam bag that subject herself to so much garbage.
So, cry, grieve, eat what you can, sleep what you can, walk, think and put those big girl pants and stand up to your values.
One thing that made me strong was to Lean on God and allow myself to let his love for me to work on my behalf. I say now that my D song was "I am not alone". It was amazing of how much energy came from that song when Iost needed.
We all love you and we will be with you along the wsy. It will get better even if you can't see it now.
