Not sure where to stand

[Sparkls]

I started reading through it and while I have some codependent tendencies, I seldom get to the point that my own well being takes a back seat. I tend to nurture a lot (I'm a doctor, it's what I enjoy doing) but I also appreciate that sometimes my own well being is more important. I think that's what makes this betrayal by the bf even more painful is that I really had taken a step back to take care of my world and I excepted him to support me through it because that's what you do when you love someone. I had done it for him for years during the beginning of our relationship and instead, He checked out and started screwing someone else with *huge* codependency issues. And now, it's hard for me to want to take care of myself because the last time I did, my world fell apart. I can logically see the problems in our relationship and how I would probably be better off in the long run if I just cut losses and move on. But I cant convince my heart of that.
He is not the guy I thought he was, but I have seen him be better. I know I can't make him be that guy, but I also can't seem to turn off the switch that is making me hope he will be. My life trudges on regardless. Ill move and start residency in a few months and the my word will keep turning. I just want him there for it. I don't need him. I'll be fine without him, but damnit if I don't want that guy that was there 3 years ago to come back and come along for the ride. I don't know what happened to that guy....