Once when H and I were on the outs, we had to spend a night together in a hotel room. We had separate beds.
I told him I wanted to watch a nasty movie with him. He ignored me. I faked falling asleep, as if it were no big deal.
He immediately said, I thought you wanted to come over here and watch a movie.
I did. We did. THEN< I asked him if he wanted me to get back in and sleep in the other bed. He was stunned. He said No...in a quizzical sort of voice...like what the heck...
They don't like it when we appear to be using them just for sex...it hurts their feelings, too. Makes them think. H snuggled with me that night.
hi nitaf, i'm totally with akagl, and i was in the same boat as you, part of me still believes that ML is what made my H never let me go, even while in severe grip of OW. enjoy big hug, slowly
I keep forgetting your sitch. Were you ever separated? I had r talk with H. He said he is ready to move on. Why did I even engage in R talk. It was so stupid. I think I am feeling clingy because of phene calls I found to OW! Please help me sty strong. I don't want to push him away.
hi nitaf, I agree with alaskangal, but she is right do it on your own terms, and hey, if your not in the mood, just don't do it just to make him happy. What's the scoop on your letter? I wouldn't send it, but keep it to look back on.
hi nitaf - no we were not separated. but H was in a full blown PA. it was tough competing while i was soooo 'accessible' time with OW was always more precious as it needed to be planned (her H did not know). i'm still on the rollercoaster. it is tough, but stack the decks in your favour as much as possible. big hug, slowly
nitaf, see what happens when you snoop, forget the phone calls to OW and work on yourself and keep doing what you are doing, the other night when he touched you softy, that was a good sign. actually it doesn't matter how your roller coaster rides ends, for good or bad, in the end, you still need to work on yourself. how is tennis going?
Hi Suzy, I started off by saying the door for reconciliation(sp) is still open but,we need boundaries.....Saturday Itold my H that 5 months of limbo is enough.I know against DB rules. I said you can no longer run in and out of here with a key, wash clothes here, Be here when I am not, and when you spend time with S, you need to do it wherever you are staying and not here.Why should he have his freedom and all of the comforts of home also? He even gets to ML. What is he missing?He can't not reside elsewhere and have his family also.I also told him that I do not love you because you don't make mistakes.I love you in spite os yyour mistakes.He is very self righteous when it come to me making mistakes.. He always says he wants to move on w/his life, but yet and still is always here. I just got fed up! His response was let's see a lawyer and D. I said make the decision that is best for your family.
I feel like he has emotionally detatched from me, but I am still attached to him.I need him to not be around so that I can detatch.
big hug, slowly 