Time for a new direction

[mleigh4]

Hello. S and I are safe back at home with our fur babies. There was so much love bursting in this house once we were all back together!

Our drive home was interesting. I drove, I actually enjoy driving, and H sat in back with S the entire ride. S was thrilled, it gave them extra time together. I didn't really mind....just a little weird I guess, but normal when you have 2 children, no? H slept most of the way.

I did a lot of reflecting about the trip while driving and there is no doubt that H is stuck in a teenage mentality. And even though I was happy to have H join us on our trip, it is amazing how much disruption he caused:

The morning he came to see us off, he brought the Safeway monopoly game and game pieces to do with S. We are both doing it and combine our pieces in hopes of winning prizes. It was just not the best timing for it, we got on the road an hour later than planned.

You all know the flight fiasco. Overall it worked out, but it took time away from S and I at the park as H kept texting his frustrations and I was trying to calm him. Having to change the safari time, planning our visit around meeting H at the gate....it felt like a time crunch that completely revolved around H and we missed seeing many things at the park.

When we were leaving the park, we needed to return the rental car. H decided while sitting in the parking lot, to pull out his newest toy. Virtual goggles. He was trying to set it up and showing son, meanwhile, I was thinking, can't we do this at the hotel?? So I asked such and H jokingly stated NO! Ok, so I once again pulled out my patience card. When H was ready to go, he looked up the rental car place and exclaimed, it closes in 20 minutes!! And we are 20 minutes away!! I pulled out my STFU smoothie and said, see you there! It's a good thing I had my MLC tool bag with me.

We were late to the rental drop off but thankfully they had an after hours drop off. H spent 15 minutes going through the vehicle and making sure he got everything while S and I patiently waited. then he couldn't find the drop box for the keys which I kindly pointed out for him.

Finally, we got back to the hotel, all starving. We went to the room first to get cleaned up and drop off H bag. I poured myself a glass of wine, H joined and clinked my glass. That was nice and we had a nice dinner. After, H was back to the virtual goggles. I tried it out and it is pretty cool! H played with those all night until we went to sleep.

Got up in the morning, drove home. After 7 hours of driving, H realized his truck was at FIL house, an additional 1/2 hour further from home. Originally, H had said to drop him off at home, that we could go home and he would go get dog for us from FIL. That went out the window!

Got truck and dog, then H remembered her food was at HIS house. H had forgotten to take it with dog. We made one last stop before home to get her food. This took an extra hour and a half before we got home.

So, all in all, was it worth it to have H join us? There were goods and bads. I enjoy having him around, but I do prepare myself to know it won't be smooth. I think in preparing myself, it keeps me calm. He certainly is exhausting, I am glad to have it back to just S and I today.

On the drive home, I mentioned I am ready to start selling some things. We agreed to sell the RV. I asked him what he planned for the boat? He said, frustrated and like he has thought about it too, that he can't wakeboard anymore since he messed up his arm wakeboarding. (BTW, that is what I believe threw him into BD) He said he wasn't sure what to do with it. I stayed quiet, but I do intend to ask for what I put into it back. It was 5k, nothing to sneeze at. As far as I know, the boat has been sitting at his dads tow yard in storage since BD, but I don't really know. I don't intend to spend another summer wondering if he is taking the boat out and with who. We only used it for 2 summers. I was against getting it, H promised wonderful family memories even though I kept telling him I am not a water sport person. S hated it, H put so much pressure on him to do things he wasn't ready for. Unfortunately, I know H had good intentions with the boat, but it turned into S and I just being a huge disappointment to H. Something good turned into a huge nightmare for us, which I now realize was a lot of MLC behavior at hand. I want a refund on that one. I will bring it up once we are actively selling the RV.

When we were leaving H to home, he was giving S a big hug, I told him I was sorry the trip turned the way it did, but glad he made it. He said it was worth it.

I still feel headed towards closure. The trip didn't change anything for me. H and I have a connection, but it only feels about S. I feel nothing romantic, it feels like being with a very high maintenance friend when I am with him.

The journey continues