and the reason I wanted to see them to say goodbye is they will be inviting my W and eventually the OM over for holidays. At this point I'm not sure I can detach like that.
Can you expound a little more on not being able to detach like that? Do you mean cut them completely out of your life, or what?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!