REALLY trying to detach...but GALing regardless!#4

[- MB -]

MB, your last paragraph is so true for my situation. Still don't get why OW came to see you, although it shows how insecure she is as you have been NC with your H and despite this she sees you as a threat! It's funny how OP sometimes acts!

Keep walking on our path. Why aren't you going out on your own? I go to the cinema and I like it. If I was near you, I can garantee you we'd be doing something.

Have faith in everyday as it brings you closer to internal happiness :-)

Not really sure why ow came here, I think about it a lot but don't know her so I have a hard time knowing what she was thinking. I keep being reminded that I'm not a mind reader. From listening to her, I don't think she knows or believes that I am NC with H. She even mentioned that she lives so far away and I'm right here in the same town. That was the only glimpse of insecurity that I got from her. At first she seemed like she was trying to let me know that she's the woman in H's life now, but then she seemed fo flip to having questions that she needed answers to. I think she was aware of his controlling tendencies and wanted confirmation. Could be totally wrong though. I do know that her visit is harder for me NOW than it was at the time. It doesn't feel like I took a few steps backward though, it feels more like I was set back about a mile. I was working to detach which seems to be a VERY slow and challenging process for me and now I find that I have reverted back to some of my behaviors that I had already stopped. UGH! It's like an addiction and I feel like I'm starting over trying to break the behaviors.

It would be so nice if some of us lived close together so we could drag each other out for GAL activities! I was doing really well with those, but haven't done much lately other than play cards with friends or my sister, and go walking. I don't go out by myself because I already feel so alone and a that just intensifies it. If I'm going to be alone, I'd rather just stay home, it's cheaper. Another reason I'm not getting out and doing much is because things are a little tight for me now and I haven't been able to get any extra hours at work. Hoping that changes soon as I am getting tired of having to be stressed out about it.

I hope you're doing okay these days.